by Longbeachtrekstar

Lieutenant Commander Data entered Ten Forward and looked about the room, searching out his friend, Chief Engineer Geordi LaForge. He spotted him in the far corner, seated at a table with Doctor Beverly Crusher and Counselor Deanna Troi. He approached them.

"Hi Data," said Geordi amiably. Beverly and Deanna also smiled and nodded in salutation. "What have you been doing?"

"I have been in the holosuite, running programs, trying to understand the human emotional concept of humor. If you will let me, I'd like to try out a joke I have been working on."

Geordi turned with a smile to the two women, who also smirked. The idea of Data telling a joke was too good to pass up.

Data began by explaining his joke before actually telling it. "It is a very old joke which began on the vaudeville stages of ancient Earth. It continued being told generation after generation, mostly backstage, by one comedian to another, each trying to outdo the other. With each new telling-"

"Data?" interrupted Deanna. "Why don't you just go ahead and tell it."

"Oh. Yes, Counselor. Of course." Data paused for a moment, then shifted his balance in an odd way. Gone went the stiff posture and emotionless face of an android. He swayed loosely a bit, and flexed his hands and arms out to the side. He smirked, and began speaking in an odd nasally twang.

"An Andorian walks into a Ferengi talent agency, and he says to the Ferengi behind the desk, 'I got a great new act that will take the galaxy by storm. You have to check it out.' The Ferengi says, 'Get out of here. I don't need anymore acts.' But the Andorian insists, so the Ferengi finally decides to give him a shot. The Andorian claps his hands, and in marches a Klingon and a Cardassian male and a
Vulcan and an Orion female."

All three listeners smiled warmly at Data's obvious enthusiasm toward his attempt at humor.

"Suddenly, the Klingon rips the Vulcan's clothes off and starts licking her pussy."

"Oh my!" Deanna brought her hand to her mouth in surprise. Beverly coughed as she choked on her drink. Behind his visor, Geordi's eyebrows went up in disbelief.

Data continued. "While the Klingon is eating the Vulcan's pussy, the Cardassian and the Orion each take off all their clothes, and the Orion starts licking the Cardassian's asshole. Suddenly, the Cardassian shits right into her mouth, and while she's choking on it, he turns around and stuffs his hard cock into her mouth, shooting cum inside her."

LaForge raised his hand. "Uh, Data..."

"Just a moment, Geordi. I am not finished. Meanwhile, as the Klingon licks the Vulcan's pussy, she starts peeing all over him. He drinks every drop while pulling out his hard Klingon cock and three Klingon balls -- or is it four? Anyway, he beats off and shoots his hot Klingon load all over the Vulcan's ass as she finishes pissing on him."

Beverly suddenly stood up. "I think I've heard enough. Good night, Geordi."

Data stared as Beverly and Deanna pushed themselves past him and stormed out of Ten Forward.

"Well, Data," said Geordi, a little sympathy in his voice for his misguided friend. "Better luck next time."

Still trying to maintain his "comedian" persona, Data physically blocked Geordie's path and kept him in his seat. "Just a moment, Geordi. I am almost finished. The Klingon grabs the Cardassian and makes him start sucking his four balls -- or is it three? Anyway, the Orion then spits her mouthful of Cardassian shit and cum in the Vulcan's face.

"The Vulcan does a nerve-pinch right on the Orion's clit, making her menstruate green blood all over the floor. Then she mind-melds with her and makes her think she's a Cardassian suppository. So the Orion starts trying to shove her own head up the Cardassian's ass!"

"Data!" said Geordi, as more and more heads in Ten Forward started to turn in their direction. "I think you'd better-"

"Wait, wait. I'm almost done. So then a Borg enters the room, and he has a cybernetic dildo attached to one hand, and a pneumatic pussy attached to the other. He shoves the dildo up the Klingon's ass while he uses the pneumatic pussy to suck off the Cardassian.

"*Meanwhile*, the Vulcan takes out a box of tribbles and starts sticking them up her pussy. Then she lies down, pulls her knees up to her chest, and starts popping the tribbles out of her cunt, bouncing them off the Orion, who still has her head stuck up the Cardassian's ass.

"Finally, all the actors move to the center of the room, and the Andorian steps forward and goes, 'Taa-daa!'

"The Ferengi says, 'Holy shit. That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?'

"And the Andorian throws his arms forward and says, 'The Aristocrats!'"

As Data held his pose, Geordie just sat there, staring. Finally, he said simply, "I don't get it."

Data put his arms down and stood up straight and emotionless once again. "Neither do I."

(End)